Your Separation and Divorce Team: Life Coaches

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How can a life coach help you through your divorce?

The following is a guest post from Trudy Chapman, an integral development coach with Chapman Coaching in Ottawa who works with people facing transitions like divorce and separation.  In this post, Trudy provides information about how she and other life coaches can help people during this time of transition.

It Takes a Team…

So, you’ve decided to leave your spouse… or your spouse has informed you they are leaving you ... either way your world is changing whether you like it or not. This is a really tough time for you, your spouse and your children (if you have any). You may not know how to understand your own feelings or support your kids; it all feels so chaotic. You’ve each begun to search for legal advice on next steps. And you’re trying to work through your emotions so that you can make clear rational choices – at a time when clear, rational thinking may be pretty hard to manage.

How a Life Coach Can Help

You begin to build your team to help you through this process – a lawyer for the legal bits and your best friend for your heartache, maybe your parents or siblings can help with the kids or other things – these are good first steps in building your team. You may want to also consider reaching out to a life coach for support and a safe, objective place, to work through this puzzle.

Life coaches can work in tandem with your lawyer to help you make the necessary choices that now face you. You are building your “new tomorrow” with your ex-partner and that takes work. While the lawyer will give you clear advice about the legal choices you face, a life coach can help you find your feet so you have the courage and balance to make those necessary decisions.

What does a “building a new tomorrow” mean?

Assuming no major issues exist (violence or abuse, for a start), I believe kids need both parents in their life to help them become stable and mature people.  This notion under-pinned my thinking as I faced my own separation and ultimate divorce more than a decade ago. After all, your children are their own unique amalgam of both you your ex and they need to know you both, warts and all.  

As I went through my own separation, I realized that my soon to be ex-partner and I would have a shared business for some time to come, and we’d better figure out how that was going to work.  I’ve come to think of this as “building a new tomorrow”.

This shared business is the time and work it takes for those children to launch into their own lives as young adults. Building that new tomorrow is vital to the successful outcome of raising resilient capable young people who are least scarred by your divorce and separation. This means you need to build a successful working relationship between the two of you in this new business endeavour you are entering.

What that looks like, and how that feels inside of you, is part of what you can explore while working with a life coach. Building a new tomorrow requires looking at your shared goals for your children and developing the discussion skills to have effective conversations about your co-parenting into the immediate future.

Meet Trudy Chapman

Trudy Chapman is an integral development coach with Chapman Coaching in Ottawa who works with people facing transitions like divorce and separation. Having lived through her own divorce, and parenting two sons through the process, she’s got some insights to share. As a skilled life coach, she can help you think through the legal options presented by Fresh Legal, how they feel to you, and what your new tomorrow could look like.

Trudy can be reached at trudychapman@rogers.com or you can learn about her via her website at www.TrudyChapmanCoaching.com.

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Want to learn more about who might be on your divorce team? Check out our guest posts from a mortgage broker and a career coach.